This is what I tried to explain to the bouncer as I was being removed by my dirndl apron out the doors of the famous celebrity Beer tent.
JK I’m more classy than that… most of the time. Thankfully my karma at Oktoberfest is one of positive vibes resulting in the bouncer in charge of guarding the celebrity tent taking my hand, leading my friend & I inside as we turn behind to our hundreds of drunken *fans* waving at us to see if we can bring them along. SORRY PEASANTS!
So how does a bisguan (bravarian for bitch) like me find a way for this to happen? May I present to you my karma growth investment strategy:
I strongly believe that Karma is real, no matter how big or small the acts may be. Whether it takes multiple lifetimes or a mere matter of minutes to repay, I try to keep this top of mind by investing in various choices, actions & words that are from a place of kindness (when possible, no one’s perfect). Really it comes down to – don’t be a selfish prick or assume doing a kind act is beneath you. You never know who you’re helping or how this will play out later in life.
Name(s) have been changed – mainly because I have been too lazy to ask my friend her permission.
Helga and I – after 4 steins, 2 sausages (both mine), 1 pretzel and no waters later – decided that it was time to take our horse and pony show over to a tent that stays open late. We were clearly destined for a late night of celebration & fame.
Destination was selected for the Käfer Wiesn-Schänke tent due to the late hours and by the looks of the crowd, clearly a popular choice. Did you know Oktoberfest has an app?? One of many reasons sales engineers make the incredible friends. There was no official tent line, just a massive half circle around the main 2 doors and 4 bouncers strolling back and forth yelling at the crowd to stay behind the red dome drawn on the ground. Imagine yourself in a penalty kick situation… only you are not the shooter. Instead you are one of many players jockeying for position around the half circle at the top of the box. Thankfully years of box-out drills & no bullshit attitude we made it to the redline ready to guard our primetime position. What we didn’t realize until an hour later is that the bouncers had zero interest in letting anyone inside besides blood relatives.
Failed attempts included cocky guys “slipping” bills that got them absolutely nowhere and women letting their already revealing drindles (guilty as charged) slip to even more dangerous spill-over levels. Rejection after rejection after rejection. Mind you people would leave the tent doors but no one would replace. Helga and I agreed to wait 30 more minutes, then give up our spot for a different tent. In line next to us was an adorable german couple in their late 50’s also trying to figure out how to get inside, also noting that it was their anniversary. Helga and I congratulated them both and spent the next 10minutes chatting with the older woman, eventually laughing & judging everyone else in line around us, and finally plotting how to get inside. Rumor has it, could be upwards of 3 hours before anyone has a chance of admission. Half jokingly, I mention: “If we find a way inside we are 100% bringing you guys with us!” She smiled large and in her german accent “Same!”
Lo and behold less than 1min after that statement three gentlemen step out of the bar to have a quick smoke & talk to the bouncer. One of them locks eyes with me and I quickly reply with the international sign of can you get us in please?! (aka a big smile). Next thing we know this man grabs my hand (& I take Helga’s – no way I leave a wingwoman behind – sacrilegious!) and he walks us to the door! Suddenly I remember my oath and can’t move because I know what has to be done:
“WAIT!! WE NEED TO BRING MY FRIENDS TOO!!! (Kylie, you met them like 5mins ago – cool it) IT’S THEIR ANNIVERSARY!!”
Tall Guy: gives me a look, a look at the older couple, and then turns to the bouncer.
Bouncer: NOPE! None of you are getting in besides the guys who were already inside. Get back behind the red line.
OK so that was 100% MY bad. The door of opportunity knocked, I opened, and basically gave it a middle finger of gold plated intentions.
Thankfully Helga was not anywhere near as mad at me as she should have been. Good beer vibes I guess. The other woman was beyond thankful and felt so bad we didn’t get in after trying to sneak them with us.
Me: Couldn’t leave you guys behind – package deal!
Just as I finished that statement fate decided to yet again open a door of opportunity… Only this time it was not for us. The bouncer himself walked over to the couple, said a few things in German to her husband and suddenly the happy anniversary couple start walking for the door!
We smile large at our turn in fate… until it smacks our tiny little brains:
Wife:
THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN!??!
Helga and I at this point have tears flowing down our face from laughter. We just got ghosted by the very 2 we risked our night of fame for moments earlier!
As we started to plan for a new tent… the door of karma opened with wide loving arm! The ghost couple returns to the door pointing our direction, bouncer nods his head, and IN we run! 99% sure the husband was trying to get their real friends standing behind us inside, but the bouncer didn’t realize and I was not going to miss our second shot – wife cheering us on behind him! Turns out her husband is a famous movie director – who knew! We clearly had NO idea but beyond thankful that his celeb status got us past the golden gates!
Once inside we thanked our new BEST friends & bee lined it straight to the FC Bayern Munich table, took shots with the whole team, Lewandowski signed my apron, & Neuer told me I have a lovely smile.
….ok so THAT level of Karma did not happen, always time. Players from my beloved team were in the tent with us that night however they were protected by yet another layer of privacy & bouncers. We were not about to push our luck.
Some may call this experience luck or coincidence. I believe it’s simply called don’t be a prick. It is not hard to be friendly towards others, however so many people decide who they chose to interact with, do a kind favor for, or simply strike up a friendly conversation with based on whether there is something to gain in return.
Life is not about climbing the highest ladder, using others to get ahead, or leaving friends behind to earn validation from those perceived as “more important” or “famous”. You will find some truly beautiful people in life when you decide to stay open to moments, authentic conversations, simply being kind, or offering help to someone when they have nothing to give in return.
We had NO idea this couple was famous, however our simple moment of kindness & loyalty gained us access to a tent we had no business being let inside. I can tell you for certain we did NOT belong seeing how 90% of the people we met would ask Helga or I *in shock* how we got through the doors. Apparently it is near impossible to buy your way into the tent this late in the game, so unless you were famous you would not be there.
My responses to these rude women were getting more creative towards the end of the night after a few more steins down the hatch:
“How did YOU get in??”
- “She is the Dutchess of _____”
- “I’m sleeping with one of the players”
- & finally a crowd favorite “Your husband”
… karma’s a bitch eh?