Is your juice worth the squeeze?

Upward camera angle to hide evidence of double chins and stomach rolls. Side turn for a less than skinny arm. Position frame with angelic lighting from heavens above & national geographic professional use of camera filters & shutter speeds. Fake laughter & ‘smiling with the eyes’ to re-create a truly magical moment that may never have actually happened. Cue the geo-tags of said incredible location to make sure anyone who happens upon this post or story knows you are somewhere special, with the best of friends, having the most incredible time of your life, and most importantly to prove to the world that you are happy & thriving. Your Social Brand. 

I know this is not a hard scenario for anyone to imagine; on any friend, colleague, instagram model, celebrity, or especially YOUR account… oh yeah and mine too. 

At work I always cringe when someone brings up the term “personal brand” or  “corporate brand”. Advice would quickly follow; make sure you build an incredible personal brand by: 

• Ask executive X to coffee & prep questions about their incredible(-ly shitty) business blog
• Get in at 6am & leave at 7pm 
• Send emails to leadership on the weekend so they know you’re dedicated
• Reply to belittling & rude AF client or leadership emails with overwhelming apologies 
• You only need to take your clients/partners inappropriate comments over drinks & dinner until the deal is signed 
  • unless you want to upsell them next year. But don’t worry he seems harmless… 
• Wait your turn for promotions. If you go against the rules you will be seen as uncooperative, needy, or selfish
• Don’t ask for a raise, they’ll recognize your hard work in time…
• Speaking of, work hard (even if it’s not necessarily working smart)
  • especially on tasks that make your leadership look good 
  • doubly important if this replaces time you could have spent to build skills that improve your personal development / personal targets / company revenue

Personal brand is a tool of influence created from the top down that outlines how they need “their” people to represent them… I mean their institution. A behavioral guide on putting one hand above the other up the rungs of the corporate ladder. The selection model for who they want to groom in their game onward & upward to corporate glory. If your “personal brand” is on point… you are accepted and validated by leadership, while constantly being reminded that there is still so much more you need to do to be “perfect” or someone else may take your place.

It always felt heavy and inauthentic at work to have to behave, respond to emails, and speak to clients in a certain way or participate in certain corporate shit I didn’t care one ounce about all in order to fulfill some image that I’m a high reaching employee worthy of leadership’s respect & eventual promotion. Fulfilling responsibilities in a position for payment I completely understand – not a full cynic of basic employment. However this concept of playing the game with fluffer expectations and fulfilling someone else’s image of worthiness is entirely different. Pass the koolaid please! (& please god someone spike this shit with vodka) 

Thankfully since a young age (to my mother’s demise)  I have always created friction with authoritative models and typically chose to pursue actions in line with what I believe is appropriate based mainly on personal character, logic, &  goals. Did I blow up massive opportunities? YES plenty. Get (almost) fired or cut for it? More than I can count. Did these same flaws allow me to break old corporate rules and find success in my lofty goals? – YES! Time and time again.  

This inauthentic perfection a corporate brand requires of us, leveraged by leadership to determine who is worthy of acceptance & growth, is now expanding into our social lives. A resume is no longer on paper for interviews but a social platform for friends, family, and strangers to view on a daily basis. If you are not interesting enough, traveling enough, living large enough, getting liked enough, or happy enough then you clearly are missing the entire point of life. Life is to THRIVE…  so make sure you prove it to the world. Oh and your journey better be clean easy & perfect because you have to prove you are uniquely better than everyone else.  

If you fail to do all of these requirements… well clearly your social brand has proven the world one important thing –  YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH. 

Traveling in Burgundy (I know poor me), this realization smacked me in similar grace of deer totaling a Mercedes before sprinting into the woods to lick it’s wounds. 

I had spent 2 days in the most epic countryside doing my best to take incredible pictures, view all the adorable villages, eat amazing food, all while finding time for relaxation & hygge. Instead of fulfilling the romanticized version in my pretty little brain, I have never felt more rejected, defeated, and most upsetting – hungry & wine deprived. 

Why you ask?!?

• Could not get seated at any restaurant:
  • When I couldn’t speak fluent french they suddenly couldn’t speak English
  • Restaurants/cafes only serve food from noon-1pm & 7-9pm
  • If you arrive during proper times: No reservation = fully booked (yes even in empty restaurants)
  • Solo diner = less $. Would turn me away for couples instead

• Grocery stores in France
  • 2 cash registers, both automated in french only (I can’t even do the english ones)
  • Apparently you weigh & tag veggies/fruits BEFORE check out
  • Mile long line of angry french people behind me – thankfully no idea what they were yelling
  • Finally finished & realized you have to buy a bag. 2 options: re-do entire process OR throw everything that could fit inside my purse & take the rest overflowing in my arms. Option 2 won… 
  • Walk outside to find torrential downpour while trying to find my car with arms full of loose food products 
• No winery visits because it was harvest time: no one taking walk ins for tastings 
  • If you didn’t realize & ask for a tasting: they think you had just spat in their wine 

So finally back at my Airbnb, soaking wet, in tears, tried, & hungry I just wanted to be spoon fed love and positive messages… and cheese & wine. 

One thing I knew would make me feel better is to post some of the beautiful pictures from earlier that day on my camera. An easy fix to help me feel connection & pride by showing the world back home the beauty of the wine countryside, cute restaurants, & signs of various tasting rooms (that wouldn’t let me inside). Then the proverbial deer hit my Mercedes instagram windshield. 

What is the real purpose of this post? Does this actually show my travels? Or am I in need of external validation as a pick me up when I am feeling super alone, tired, hangry, and defeated? 

What is this need for external validation truly for? I am literally a puddle of emotions and frustration. Why am I pretending to be anywhere close to happy right now?

The deer sprinted back into the woods and in that moment my shiny Mercedes would never be the same. I made a choice, in the same manner I would have during my days of the corporate rat race, that I would rather come forward as the most authentic version of myself in this moment vs watering my insecure ego thirsty for acceptance.

What I could not predict is how that small choice of honesty turned into a beautiful gift. Not only did I feel personally more honest with my experience, but the kindness & encouragement from friends/strangers during the low times helped me feel more connected and heard than any forms of  “Wow it’s so pretty there!” or “OMG you look so happy” or “I am so jealous!” messages could have done. 

People crave authenticity today because there are so many brands of perfection on our feeds – including our own. 

Next time you decide to post the beautiful happy picture, take a moment to do a gut check. This is not because you shouldn’t post it, we all LOVE great vibes and happiness!!  But take a second to see if this post is coming from a place of authenticity, or simply promoting your personal brand to prove to the world that you are enough. 

Whether you need to hear these words, or know them already but struggle at times to keep the voice louder than your own insecurities…  YOU ARE ENOUGH.

No social or corporate brand will ever be necessary to prove you are worthy. Simply show up as you are, who you are, and where you are. 

PS If you like this post please follow me, tell your friends to follow me, like all my stories, leave comments about how much you love me, follow my personal instagram account, and make sure you tell me I’m pretty and brave. Love you, mean it